13 Things I'd Tell My 20-Year-Old Self (I'm a 72-Year-Old Multimillionaire)

August Turak shares 13 hard-won lessons from seven decades that put inner growth ahead of external wins.

Spirituality First

• Prioritize the deepest questions of life; everything else improves as a result (0:05-1:17).
• Spirituality means living deliberately, as Thoreau did at Walden Pond.

Character as a Muscle

• Excellence is a habit formed by daily practice, not intellectual study (1:17-4:10).
• John Adams carried a list of traits to review every day.

Mentors and Community

• Find a mentor and stay coachable; growth requires trusting the process without seeing the end (4:10-9:37).

Initiative and Networks

• Ask directly, put yourself in play, and keep “a guy” for every need (9:37-17:30).
• Focus on your own growth instead of comparing with others.

How You Think

• Use clench-and-relax cycles and divergent thinking; answers surface after sustained effort (17:30-28:16).

00:00 Intro

00:00 Intro

• The video centers on 13 lessons August Turak would tell his 20-year-old self, distilled from 72 years of experience as a successful entrepreneur and thinker. The structure follows a numbered set of guiding ideas, beginning with spirituality and culminating in decisive action.
• The overarching aim is not just wealth, but character and personal growth. The format blends personal anecdotes, historical references, and practical frameworks for self-improvement.

00:05 Spirituality comes first

• Key claim: spirituality is foundational because it shapes what matters most in life and creates spillover benefits across all domains (work, relationships, health).
• Notable analogy: Henry David Thoreau’s pursuit of a deliberate, meaningful life, living in the woods to learn how to live deliberately and seriously. The speaker emphasizes questions that matter over what’s on TV, including questions about heaven, God, and tombstone legacies.
• Concept of faith: faith is not blind belief in a dogma; it’s the trust that focusing on the right kinds of life questions will improve all other areas of life. Spirituality is about prioritizing profound, lasting concerns.
• Practical implication: spirituality informs life direction and acting with purpose; it’s the “why” that makes other behaviors meaningful.

> "Spirituality comes first because as the Bible says, seek first the kingdom of heaven and everything else will come out of itself." (00:05) > "What do you want on your tombstone when you die? These are spiritual questions." (04:10–implied in context)

• Spillover effect: the speaker posits that spiritual focus aids worldly outcomes, asserting that faith leads to better alignment across all life areas.

> "Faith is not saying, 'I believe that, you know, God wears sandals.' Faith is knowing that when you focus on the right kinds of things in your life, the spillover is that it makes all the other areas of your life work so much better." (00:05–00:10 vicinity)

• Summary takeaway (HIGH PRIORITY): Spirituality is the compass that prioritizes the deepest questions and aligns character and action with long-term well-being.

01:17 Character is everything

• Core assertion: character is the critical asset; it’s the foundation for leadership, trust, and effective living.
• Character as a skill: like a muscle that must be trained, not just a decision you make. Self-discipline, delayed gratification, punctuality, and people skills must be practiced, not just wished for.
• Critique of traditional schooling: formal education can convey intellectual knowledge but cannot reliably teach character; character requires practice and lived experience.
• Aristotle is invoked: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit." This frames character as daily, repeatable behavior rather than a one-off choice.
• Practical teaching method: teachers and mentors can convey knowledge; true learning in character requires deliberate practice and feedback loops.
• Hiring insight: the hardest part of business is finding people with good character; technical skills can be taught, but character cannot.
• Concrete examples from history: Abraham Lincoln, John Adams, George Washington kept character-focused routines (e.g., Adams carried a pocket list of traits to work on; Lincoln’s integrity).
• Buffett anecdote: Warren Buffett credits the influence of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People; success comes from applying character-oriented principles rather than mere technical skill.
• Mentor culture: the speaker emphasizes the importance of mentors, being coachable, and actively seeking feedback.
• Culture of being coachable: many Americans are uncoachable; real growth requires humility and willingness to learn from mentors.
• Summary takeaway (HIGH PRIORITY): Character development is non-negotiable for lasting success; it must be practiced, coached, and continually improved.

> "The most important thing you can do is work on your character. Character is like a muscle... you have to practice. It's not something you can get out of a book." (01:17 vicinity) > "I can't teach you how to be a good human being. You have to bring that to the table... you have to be on time already. You have to have people skills." (01:17 vicinity) > "Aristotle said, 'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not a choice, it's a habit.'" (01:17) > "Warren Buffett attributes his success to Dale Carnegie's course... He worked it and worked it and sometimes forgets about it, then comes back to it." (01:17 vicinity)

• Practical project: build a community around character work; accountability forums, exercises, and real-world tasks (e.g., organizing lectures, selling tickets) to learn by doing and to reinforce character traits.

> "First of all, you make you look for a community that is aligned with what you're trying to accomplish... Becoming that kind of person takes a lot of work." (01:17–04:10 vicinity)

• Summary takeaway (HIGH PRIORITY): Character is developed through deliberate practice, mentor-guided feedback, and real-world accountability within a supportive community.

04:10 Find a community

• The path of self-improvement is social as well as internal: you need a community that shares your aims and can hold you accountable.
• Practical approach: create or join a group that aligns with your goals; the speaker describes posting invitations to form a like-minded circle, meeting to perform exercises, and holding each other accountable.
• Learning through doing: learning comes from executing logistics (selling tickets, arranging venues, refreshments) as much as from listening to lectures; the act of organizing strengthens discipline and cooperation.
• Community-building is tied to a broader mission: move from selfishness to selflessness as the spiritual journey; the community anchors this transformation.
• Summary takeaway: surround yourself with a purpose-aligned cohort to reinforce habits, accountability, and growth.

> "Let’s work on a community that would work on the stuff that I’m talking about... we would get together and hold each other accountable and start doing these exercises together." (04:10 vicinity)

05:48 Find a mentor

• Mentors are essential for accelerating growth; the speaker emphasizes that mentors teach you how to become better, but you must be coachable.
• The risk of self-reliance: many people resist seeking mentors, or fail to be coachable when a mentor appears; the speaker argues it’s more costly to avoid mentors than to risk a poor mentorship.
• Distinction between knowledge and character: you can be taught specific skills (typing, marketing, spreadsheets, selling) but you cannot be taught character—character is something you must bring and cultivate.
• Practical mindset: seek mentors, be coachable, and be proactive in finding guidance; do not wait for guarantees or perfect matches.
• Important counterpoint: the fear of a bad mentor should not stop you from pursuing better guidance; it’s better to try and learn than to stagnate.
• Summary takeaway: actively pursue mentors, stay coachable, and lean into the growth that comes from outside guidance.

> "But what I always say is people always asking me all the time, how do I know that I'm going to have the right mentor... take it down a notch here. How does he know he's got the right student? Why don't you work on you being a better student instead of worrying all the time about whether you got the right mentor?" (05:48 vicinity) > "I've always had mentors. I've always had teachers... It's one of those things that I would say I got just as much, maybe more out of looking for the mentor as I got out of the mentor." (05:48 vicinity) > "Be coachable. Find your mentor. Listen to him." (05:48 vicinity) > "Americans fundamentally are uncoachable. We want guarantees... The critical thing to remember... it's a journey into the unknown." (07:38 vicinity)

• Summary takeaway: mentors are crucial, but the willingness to learn and adapt (being coachable) is what unlocks their value.

07:38 Trust the process

• The theme: personal growth is a journey into the unknown; progress often requires trust when outcomes aren’t immediately clear.
• Examples and analogies: golf lessons where the end result isn’t immediately understood; patient, iterative learning yields deeper comprehension over time.
• The risk of quitting when things feel wrong: sticking with rough patches can yield transformative insights later; the speaker highlights a teacher’s directness and the value of initiative.
• Summary takeaway: trust the process, persist through discomfort, and understand that true learning often looks awkward at first but yields clarity later.

> "It's a journey into the unknown. I don't care what other words you want to bring up... You have to trust the process." (07:38 vicinity) > "Everything felt awkward... I trusted the process and eventually I understood." (07:38 vicinity)

• Related insight: leadership and entrepreneurship require a bias toward action—when in doubt, take initiative rather than waiting for perfect conditions.

09:37 Take the initiative

• Central message: progress comes from taking action, not waiting for perfect information or flawless conditions.
• Concrete maxim: simply pick up the phone; in business, action beats hesitation.
• AnecdOTES of proactive behavior include urging team members to move quickly and directly with customers or partners.
• The broader philosophy: in life and business, what you can do now matters more than what you think you should wait for.
• Summary takeaway: cultivate a bias toward action; don’t overanalyze—execute and adjust.

> "Just pick up the damn phone... don't sit there trying to figure it out. I asked another mentor... 'What do you do most of the time?'" (09:37 vicinity) > "People who take the initiative, go and find out. The only thing they can hear is 'no' — and that's not fatal." (09:37 vicinity)

• Related line: a mentor emphasizes moving fast and cutting through indecision to achieve outcomes.

11:11 Don't worry about the other guy

• Core idea: avoid envy and unproductive comparisons; success is individual and contextual.
• Mental shift: redirect emotional energy from jealousy toward personal progress and contribution to others.
• Introduces the concept of being “in play” rather than passively waiting; focus on how you can impact the situation rather than fixating on others’ gains.
• Summary takeaway: channel energy into your own growth and contribution rather than competing with others’ success.

> "Don't worry about the other guy... the correlary to not worrying about the other guy is don't waste any emotional energy on jealousy or envy. Concentrate on yourself." (11:11 vicinity) > "I call it putting yourself in play." (11:11 vicinity)

12:44 Put yourself in play

• Practical strategy: change social dynamics by actively placing yourself in situations with higher probability of meeting the right people (e.g., ballroom dancing to meet women, which is framed as a broader lesson about social probability and action).
• The example illustrates thinking in terms of probability: you can wait lonely and hope for luck, or you can place yourself in environments with favorable odds.
• Summary takeaway: rather than passively waiting, actively create opportunities for connection and growth.

> "Put yourself in play. If you're trying to get married, you can sit at home and stew on loneliness or you can put yourself in play... ballroom dancing lessons with 400 women and 10 guys." (12:44 vicinity)

13:24 Always go to the top

• The emphasis is on pursuing high-leverage opportunities and not letting bureaucratic slowdowns stop you.
• The Microsoft anecdote: a small firm needs a rapid response for a CD distribution and turns to the top-level contact to expedite; the CEO/dev team pushes up the chain to secure a fast path.
• Core principle: escalate to top decision-makers when necessary to accelerate critical opportunities; don’t accept delays.
• Summary takeaway: aim high, cut through red tape, and push for rapid execution when the stakes are high.

> "Microsoft called us with an opportunity... we went to VeraSign and then to the top with the CEO; Microsoft would have waited three months, but they got it in 10 minutes." (13:24 vicinity) > "Go to the top; don't wait for the process to grind you down." (13:24 vicinity)

14:53 Have "a guy"

• Networking principle: build a trusted network of specialists—engineers, designers, vendors, neighbors—so you have a reliable person for every need.
• The strategy is to develop real relationships and reciprocate value; it’s about social capital and collaboration rather than trying to do everything alone.
• The concept extends to everyday life: the speaker emphasizes neighborly connections and a culture of mutual assistance.
• Summary takeaway: cultivate a network of trusted people for every essential capability; the right relationships unlock leverage and reduce friction.

> "I never go to the internet looking for a roofer. I have a guy for everything that we might need around here." (14:53 vicinity) > "I build relationships... with people everywhere I go." (14:53 vicinity)

17:30 It's not what you think, it's how you think

• Core framing: thinking quality matters more than raw thoughts themselves. The way you think, the frameworks you use, and your mental models determine outcomes.
• Four types of thinking (as presented, with explicit labels):

- Magical thinking: metaphorical, fantastical explanations that lack practical grounding (e.g., a grandfather's magical explanations). - Modern thinking: objective, scientific reasoning; a classical, Aristotelian approach to truth with binary correctness (A or not A). - Post-modern thinking: subjective truth tied to feelings and personal narratives; relative truth can dominate. - Paradoxical thinking: a fusion of seemingly contradictory ideas, common in Eastern mysticism and modern adaptive thinking; embrace contradictions to reach higher solutions.

• Practical implication: think about how you think; expand beyond rigid binaries; use paradoxical thinking when conventional logic fails (e.g., coopetition, controlled chaos, breaking the frame).
• Summary takeaway: develop flexible, higher-order thinking that blends divergent and paradoxical approaches to solve complex problems.

> "Lou Moby used to tell me... it's not what you think, it's how you think. Most people make the mistake of thinking that thinking is thinking... it's how you think that's most important." (17:30 vicinity) > "Paradoxical thinking... it's the divergence that leads to breakthrough; cooperative competition, controlled chaos—these are new kinds of thinking." (17:30 vicinity)

• Supporting examples: divergent thinking illustrated with riddles and jokes that challenge conventional answers; Einstein’s memory discipline; Zen perspectives on problem-solving.

21:17 Keep your head on it

• Mental discipline: cultivate memory and cognitive stamina; never rely on external prompts if you can recall information yourself.
• Memory technique: a practice of persistent recall—when a fact is forgotten, keep at it until it resurfaces, even after a brief mental gap.
• Philosophical anchor: Einstein’s line about persistence with problems; the idea that focus and perseverance fuel deep insight.
• Zen and memory: the framework of great faith and great doubt; the tension between belief in meaning and doubt; enlightenment arises from persistent engagement with the riddle rather than quick judgments.
• The red-hot cannonball metaphor (from Zen): a dramatic visualization of commitment to a problem—either swallow the doubt with faith or spit it out; the discipline is to stay on the problem until a breakthrough occurs.
• The dualities of faith and doubt are used to illustrate the cognitive discipline required to avoid premature conclusions.
• Summary takeaway: cognitive stamina, persistent focus, and disciplined engagement with hard problems lead to breakthroughs beyond conventional thinking.

> "Keep your head on it... I never look things up if I can't remember them. I developed a memory discipline by pushing myself to recall and then never letting go." (21:17 vicinity) > "Einstein said, 'I'm not really that much any smarter than anybody else. I just stay with problems longer.'" (21:17 vicinity) > "The great faith and the great doubt in Zen... the red-hot cannonball of commitment that can't be ignored." (21:17 vicinity)

• The memory and Zen discussion ties back to broader themes: perseverance, delayed gratification, and the willingness to wrestle with difficult questions until clarity emerges.

28:16 Get started now

• The closing emphasis is practical: the journey from insight to action requires immediate initiation. The speaker frames the final stage as committing to action rather than overthinking or stalling.
• The closing anecdotes around Tolstoy and the discipline of writing, as well as the overarching sense that many people struggle to begin, reinforce a take-action mindset.
• The overall arc of the talk is that wisdom travels from personal discipline (spirituality, character) through social scaffolding (community, mentors) to proactive execution (initiation, top-tier targets, leverage through networks) and adaptive cognition (how you think, paradoxical thinking).
• Final takeaway: you don’t need perfect conditions to begin; start now and refine as you go.

> "Everything in life is like a memory problem. If you ask somebody a question, notice what they do... the answer comes in the relax stage after the clench stage. The clench stage is the struggle; the relax stage yields insight." (21:17 vicinity) > "Get started now." (28:16 vicinity)

Resources Mentioned

• Henry David Thoreau — Walden; lived deliberately to learn how to live a serious life.
• Aristotle — quote on excellence as habit; habit formation as essential to character.
• Dale Carnegie — How to Win Friends and Influence People (credited by Warren Buffett as a major influence on his success).
• Warren Buffett — cites Dale Carnegie as foundational to his success.
• Abraham Lincoln, John Adams, George Washington — historical examples of character-focused leadership.
• Microsoft — example of needing fast, top-level commitments; a fast-track path to partnership.
• VeriSign / VeraSign — company involved in expediting software approvals (VeriSign is the actual well-known domain/signed certificate company; transcript mentions a fast-track 'VeraSign' contact).
• Visual Intercept — a product/solution referenced in the Microsoft-CD distribution anecdote.
• AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) — used as a comparative analogy for “journey into the unknown” and commitment to transformation.
• Zen / Alan Watts — referenced in the discussion of great faith, great doubt, and problem-solving approaches.
• Richard Rose — a figure mentioned in mentoring contexts.
• Tolstoy / Toltoy — referenced regarding perseverance in writing and the struggle against quitting; a reminder of the discipline of continual effort.
• Einstein — quoted on persistence with problems.
• Henry David Thoreau and Walden — discussed as exemplars of deliberate living.
• The Great Faith and Great Doubt — Zen framework used to describe a persistent tension in seeking truth.
• The broader themes of paradoxical thinking, coopetition, and controlled chaos — new modes of thinking in the modern era.

Notable Quotes (verbatim blocks)

• > "Spirituality comes first because as the Bible says, seek first the kingdom of heaven and everything else will come out of itself." (00:05)
• > "What do you want on your tombstone when you die? These are spiritual questions." (04:10 vicinity)
• > "The most important thing you can do is work on your character. Character is like a muscle. You can't make a decision to be self-disciplined. You can't make a decision to defer gratification. You can't make a decision to be more punctual." (01:17 vicinity)
• > "Aristotle said, 'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not a choice, it's a habit.'" (01:17)
• > "I can't teach you how to be a good human being. You have to bring that to the table. You have to be able to be on time already. You have to be able to interact with other people. You have to have people skills." (01:17 vicinity)
• > "Be coachable. Find your mentor. Listen to him. Go looking for it. And it's part of the quest." (05:48 vicinity)
• > "Don't sit there trying to figure it out. Get off your asses. Get out there and find out. Don't figure it out. Find out." (09:37 vicinity)
• > "Don't worry about the other guy. Make the other guy worry about you." (11:11 vicinity)
• > "Put yourself in play. Life is a game of probabilities." (12:44 vicinity)
• > "Always go to the top... they'll have it in 10 minutes." (13:24 vicinity)
• > "Have a guy. I never go to the internet looking for a roofer. I have a guy for everything that we might need around here." (14:53 vicinity)
• > "It's not what you think, it's how you think." (17:30 vicinity)
• > "Keep your head on it." (21:17 vicinity)
• > "Get started now." (28:16 vicinity)

Topics

• Personal Growth
• Spirituality & Religion
• Character & Leadership
• Mentorship
• Community Building
• Initiative & Execution
• Social Networking & Influence
• Mindset & Thinking Frameworks
• Memory & Focus
• Paradoxical Thinking & Creativity